The wife

Chicago Literary Club, Chicago, IL

 

V. Amod Saxena

11/25/2013

 

 

 


 

The wife

V. Amod Saxena

                    David shook hand with his last patient and told his nurse to lock up the place and stepped outside to a beautiful warm evening sunshine. It was twenty years ago when he had bought his private from an old retiring physician. He was young then, just out of his training and full of hopes for his future but also worried about his large medical school debt. He was now older, experienced and busy, also quite well off. How the time had passed since 1982? He wondered and slowly approached his new 1992 red Mercedes, parked outside of his office and looked around feeling the warm air. He took a deep breath as he opened the car door and wondered about the evening. He had no desire to go to his apartment, cook and watch the television.  He sat down in the driver’s seat and suddenly, he felt tired, hungry and alone. He turned the car-engine on and slowly drove out of the parking lot and turned right on the main street and decided to go to Bonnie’s, his favorite place to eat. It had the best burgers in town. The restaurant was a few minutes’ drive from his office. Surprisingly, the front parking lot was full, so he slowly drove to the back and found plenty of places to park. He parked his car at a remote corner and turned the engine off.

The restaurant was unusually crowded and David thought of going someplace else, when the restaurant owner recognized him and greeted him with a broad smile. He led him inside the restaurant and apologized for the big crowd inside.

“They are celebrating that woman’s birthday; she turned sixty recently.” He said to David as he pointed at a woman standing in front and talking to a man. He led him to a small corner table with two chairs.

“Who is the lucky woman?” David asked the owner, but did not really care for an answer. He was starving and wanted a quick meal and leave. He asked the owner to get him a glass of his house Merlot and Bonnie’s Best Burger with everything on it as he sat down quietly at the table.

Before leaving, the owner said,

“I think her name is Elizabeth because I saw it written on the cake!”

David asked himself, what would it be like to be sixty? He himself was fifty five years old and for him sixty was around the corner. He was not married, never had and lived alone. He had no close relative; his parents died at a young age in a car accident and his only sister had married an Australian and moved permanently to Melbourne. 

Elizabeth was standing only a few feet away from him, talking to a rather large chubby man with a large belly built like a Jell-O which moved every time he laughed. The woman looked young possibly in her late forties and was of medium height. She wore a loose blue cotton shirt over her narrow waist which sat on a well rounded bottom. He could tell that behind the tight blue jeans she had a pair of well shaped legs. She held a wine glass in her right hand. David watched her closely and could not believe that she was sixty years old. Suddenly, he saw the woman take a back step, hitting something behind her and falling sideways. He felt the wine over his face and then noticed that she had spilled the glass of red wine on his clothes also. Her hand holding the wine glass hit his table and shattered it in pieces. The stem of the broken glass was still in her hand and was now bleeding. The woman looked helplessly at David, who quickly grabbed her bleeding hand and wrapped it with a paper napkin and steadied her on her feet.  He told her that he was a doctor and that she needed medical attention. He led her by her arm to his car still holding the injured hand and drove her straight to his office. There, he cleaned her wound and stopped the bleeding which came from a gash on her palm. Elizabeth marveled at David’s quick and tender care. After he finished dressing her wound, he told her that the cut was not deep and would heal quickly. He asked if he could stop at his apartment to change his clothes while she waited in his car. He was now quite hungry and wanted to go back to the restaurant and finish his meal. Elizabeth agreed and insisted that he join her party. She told him that it was a birthday party for her. She said that her husband was seriously ill and was not able to attend it.  When they arrived at the restaurant, the party was in full swing and it seemed that her friends had hardly missed her brief absence.

David was drawn to Elizabeth’s young and attractive personality and was saddened that she was married. At midnight, David decided to take leave and Elizabeth walked him to his car and thanked him for taking a good care of her injury and apologized for spilling the wine on him. She invited him the following Sunday to her home for a light lunch or a late breakfast insisting that he meet her husband, Ted.  David accepted her invitation and promised to see her on Sunday at around eleven in the morning.

Elizabeth had moved to Chicago in 1969 from Toronto with her two close friends, Ted, her current husband and George who had died several years ago. She grew up in a small town of Sault Saint Marie in Ontario, Canada. Her father owned several steel and paper mills and had made money during the Second World War. The family lived well in a large house by the Saint Mary’s River. She was still young when her mother died suddenly of a mysterious illness leaving her in care of her father. Her mother had a sister who lived nearby and had lost her husband in a hunting accident and who had no offspring of her own. She treated Elizabeth as her own daughter and was very caring but protective.

Her father was busy and distant and fulfilled her needs with money. Elizabeth grew up as an independent and a free child. She had a mind of her own and often got in trouble with her father who wanted her to be more disciplined in her behavior. He had his own ideas of a proper female behavior. It was then a time of great social changes and he had problem dealing with it. Elizabeth had a large circle of friends who loved adventure and a liberated life. She was popular among her friends and was a natural leader. She was physically active and passionately loved swimming. She was a strong swimmer and often swam in Saint Mary’s River with her swimming buddies. Several times when alone, she went kayaking on the rapids nearby; it gave her a sense of great pleasure and freedom. Once she almost got carried away by fast and deep fall of a large rapid. She saved herself by swimming against the current and survived the ordeal. She lived her life with determination and never felt defeated.

After completing high school she moved to Toronto to study business and journalism but more so to run away from home, especially from her father. She wanted to experience the world in a big city and rented a small apartment in Toronto.

She liked Toronto where she met other young people, experimented dope and alcohol; even spent a night once in a jail, accused of soliciting marihuana, and a charge which was never proven. Once, she fell sick during a rather wild party and spent a night on the street in a chilly Toronto weather. After that experience she stopped taking drugs and cleaned herself and never touched them again. To support herself financially, she found work at a downtown Go-Go Dance Bar on Church Street. She had an athletic body with an attractive face; she liked tight skimpy clothes which made her feel good. She loved when men looked at her with desire in their eyes. Often, women too wanted to touch and embrace her and although she did not discourage them, she could not understand or respond to their feelings.  

One evening during her performance, she noticed two young men in her audience, sitting in front row. At the time she was wearing long purple stockings and a bright red bikini; she had a florescent green and bushy hair wig and wore a pair of brilliant silver sparkling framed dark eye-glasses which hid her eyes. The two men in front row had their eyes fixed on her. They followed every twist and turn of her beautiful body. She noticed their interest in her and began to move her body as if she was dancing for them. The man in light blue shirt seemed young and had dark hair with an attractive face and sparkling eyes and the man next to him in red shirt had receding forehead, dark brown hair, large ears and hazel eyes. The hall was dark in the back and she could not see the audience but due to bright light of the dancing floor, the front row was brighter and she was able to see the two men clearly. She continued her dance but kept a playful eye on the two men. She made a slow and sensual walk to the end of the stage and began to step down towards the front row. She locked her eyes on the younger man while twisting her hips towards the other man. The audience liked it and clapped with approval cheering her to continue with her dance. The men remained on their seat and moved only when the younger man tried to put his arm around her waist but the older man pulled him away from her. Elizabeth went back to the stage and continued to dance.

A few weeks later, on a Sunday in July, it was very hot and muggy and the temperature touched ninety-four in Toronto. Elizabeth woke up at noon after a late Saturday night at the theater and changed into a bikini. She looked out of her bedroom window towards the swimming pool down below and noticed two men on deck of the pool in an animated conversation with the life guard. They looked a little familiar to her. She walked down to the pool and guessed rightly that because they did not live there, the guard was not letting them use the pool. She suspected them to be the ones who sat and stared at her during one of her performances at the theater. She intervened on their behalf and told the guard that the men could use the pool as her guests. It turned out that she was right and these were the men who attended her dance.

The older man with receding forehead and brown hair was Theodore Ellington Duckworth and the younger one was Andre’ George Farland. They called themselves Ted and George for short. Ted was English, born in Yorkshire and George was a Canadian born of Argentinean parents. Both grew up in a small town of Guelph about sixty miles from Toronto. Among the three, Ted was the oldest and George the youngest. Like her they too were attending University of Toronto, Ted majoring in Mathematics and George was studying Mining and Geology. She liked them and often invited them to use the pool during hot summer evenings and on weekends. The men now had access to a nice cool pool. Often, they would bring beer and something to grill by the pool side and invite Elizabeth to join them for a meal. Elizabeth liked their company and often spent evenings with them. She began to plan their weekends together and other social activities around her own free time. On occasion, she would even go to their apartment and tidy it up. The men did not mind her as it left them alone to their studies and freed them from household activities. Soon, they began spending more time with Elizabeth in her place. She liked their company and seemed to have found a family life away from her own.

Elizabeth and George were lively, playful and entertaining.  Ted was calm, collected and a serious man. The two men in their own ways fulfilled her emotional needs. Ted was interested in game of bridge and often invited Elizabeth to be his partner. Elizabeth had learnt the game from her father as a child and although she was not very good in it, she enjoyed playing it with Ted. His memory of cards was phenomenal and he was also a fast player who got impatient with slow and hesitant players. Elizabeth was slow and conscious but Ted was patient with her.

George liked tennis and was a passionate player. He was athletically built and was fast on his feet. He served fast; often erratically but being fast on his feet often won points. When playing with Elizabeth, he would try the same tactic which annoyed Elizabeth. They would get into arguments and often ended their play by throwing their rackets at each other. Of the three, there was no question who was the one who made decisions for the group; it was Elizabeth. She was sure and confident and also had a temper. She was also possessive of her relationship with the two men. 

A year later, Elizabeth suggested that they rent a larger two bedroom apartment in her building and live together. It would be cheaper and they could share the house chores. In fact, she had already selected a three bedroom apartment on the third floor overlooking the street and had put a deposit to secure it for them. They were on tight budget and lived off their loans which they had taken for their studies. When they hesitated, Elizabeth assured them that she had earned enough money from her work in Toronto and she could easily loan them money if they needed financial help. They could pay her back later when they got work. It was impossible for the men to say ‘no’ to her because they just could not; not to Elizabeth! They liked her immensely but also were afraid of her. She was determined and set in her ways and resented when challenged. Yet she was loving and kind to them.

In their new home, Elizabeth decided that she would take charge of house work including cooking and laundry. She started making menu for evening meals for a week in advance and would usually take George for grocery shopping. She was very particular about doing laundry and forbade men to do it. The men could however, help take the dirty clothes downstairs to the laundry room and they agreed to do it.  She kept their social calendar and became anxious if she noticed a young woman lurking around the men. The arrangement seemed to suite Ted but George would often rebel but never overly. He liked Elizabeth too much to go against her. Moreover, they did not want to upset her and focused on their studies.  Elizabeth loved the arrangement as it gave her a feeling of home life which she felt, she never had.    

In 1966, Ted graduated from college with honors and Elizabeth arranged a big party for him. He had applied for several entry level jobs in Canada and USA. Soon, he got a well paying job as a young scientist at the Fermi Lab in Batavia, Illinois. Elizabeth was heartbroken to see him go without her and George. Both were still in college and wanted to complete their education. Moreover, the war in Vietnam caused many young Americans to migrate to Canada to escape the military draft. Elizabeth decided that she and George should follow Ted to Chicago. George did not want to leave Elizabeth and did not need much persuasion to follow her and Ted. He also felt that the America had ample opportunities for people like him and he would be better off there than in Canada. So, he agreed.

They gave away their apartment stuff to their friends and drove to Niagara Falls where they crossed the border. At the border both men were directed by the immigration officer to register with nearest draft board as soon as they arrive at their final destination.

Elizabeth found a large three bedroom apartment on the west side of Chicago and the three of them started their new life in America. The local draft board gave George 1-A classification and told him that his name would be put in a lottery for induction in the military. Ted too was classified as 1-A and was told that his job at Fermi Lab exempted him to be drafted. The lottery was to be held in near future and the results would be out after that. George enrolled himself in evening classes at the University of Illinois to continue his studies and Elizabeth did the same at a local community college nearby to complete her required courses.

It did not take long for them to settle down in their new surroundings. They spent time together. George and Elizabeth also worked part time at odd jobs to supplement their income. Elizabeth kept her Toronto savings for a rainy day.

The arrangement suited Elizabeth well. She felt comfortable living with Ted and George.  She showed little interest in boys when she was growing up in a small town. She considered them foolish and immature. Ted and George were different and she felt deeply for them.  She had a little softer corner in her heart for George than Ted.  Mostly, she kept her emotions to herself and acted normally.

After graduating from college in 1968, George found a job with a small oil company with headquarter in Houston with a branch in Chicago. The job required him to travel often to Texas and Middle East. The money was good and he seemed happy. A few times he took Elizabeth with him and shared hotel room with her. On one of these trips Elizabeth explored her feelings towards him. One evening on such a trip, evening, George returned from work tired and little irritated; he had been on a field trip in Texas and had a rough day. Elizabeth called for a room service at the hotel and ordered a bottle of red wine and a meal for two. After drinking wine and eating dinner, they sat down on a sofa to watch television. The news was bad; a day before, tens of American soldiers had died in the Vietnam War; Elizabeth turned the TV off and moved closer to George, she slowly pulled him towards her and softly kissed him on his lips. He too responded to her embrace. She dragged him to the bed and there a deep pent up emotion between them erupted. The result was an explosive physical experience between the two. George had no idea that this was coming. He felt release of a great tension in his body. As his body relaxed and his mind calmed, he put his arms around her and fell in a deep slumber bordering on a state of unconsciousness. When he awoke, it was early morning and Elizabeth had already gone out for a walk; he quickly got ready to go to work. On their return to Chicago, they kept their affair secret from Ted.  

When travelling with George, Elizabeth worried about Ted, who was left alone and she missed him terribly. She missed his caring and loving personality and affectionate embraces; she liked being around him. He was set in his daily activities and would get up early each morning, make coffee and put a slice of bread in toaster. The smell of coffee and toasting of bread would wake her up. He gave her a sense of security which George did not. She did not feel conflicted between her strong feelings for George and deep bond with Ted. When George was away, she would not hesitate to sleep in Ted’s bed. Sleeping next to him was comforting to her and she loved him for it. Ted did not object to her being in his bed and never discourage her.  He had little physical attraction for her and to him she seemed a nice girl who kept his home and gave him a feeling of domesticated life; he also liked a woman’s presence around and gave her credit for being such a good home maker. This allowed him freedom to concentrate on his own work at the Lab. For Elizabeth, Ted was a strong pillar of strength and stability to lean on; he never failed her in that. 

Elizabeth stopped travelling with George, once she accepted a position at a community college as an assistant to its president and a supervisor of the library. Although, she had majored in Economics and Journalism the job needed qualities in public relations and she was good at it. She seemed happy and satisfied.   

In 1969, about a week before Thanksgiving, the weather turned nasty and there was a tornado warning in the area. It had been a cloudy and windy day with heavy drizzle since morning. Elizabeth came home early from work to cook a special meal for the evening. Ted was still at work and George who was out of town in Houston was flying back that evening. Elizabeth had planned to pick him up at O’Hare but wanted to get the dinner ready before that. She worried about the nasty weather and was absorbed in her thoughts when a taxi cab arrived in front of the house and George emerged from it. He had taken an earlier flight to beat the weather. He seemed in a happy mood. He put his suitcase down, smiled at Elizabeth and gave her an affectionate hug and a tender kiss. Elizabeth was glad to see him and of course, happy that she did not have to drive to the airport in such a miserable weather. She brought a bundle of his mail which had collected during his absence and handed it to him. While going through his mail, George came across a letter bearing the Presidential Seal from White House. He quickly opened it and began to read the letter from the President of the United States, sending his greetings and thanking him for volunteering his services to the United States Army.  The letter told him that he was being drafted in the US Army; It directed him to report within seven days to the nearest army headquarter.

A gloom descended on the three young Canadians. Certainly, George could dodge the draft and go back to Canada and lose an opportunity to stay in America.  Instead, he chose to stay and accept the draft. The events happened fast after that, George underwent his physical examination and was soon ordered to report for duty for basic training at Fort Hood, Texas. After the basic training he would be transferred to his destination of army service.

Elizabeth was sad and concerned about George’s safety. She felt awful that it was she who had persuaded George to come to America when he could easily have stayed in Canada. Daily, on evening news they showed war in vivid colors; the injuries, the dying and the death; hundreds of young soldiers were being killed in that war. Hoard of body bags in caskets covered with American flags arrived in large planes and unloaded to be buried in America. Ted too was anxious too and concerned for George but remained quiet because of his fatalistic nature. He also had mixed feelings about his own situation, being in a job which saved him from draft.

A few days before George was to report for basic training, he asked Elizabeth to drive him to the lake. It was a late sunny and cool afternoon. They took Stevenson and then turned south on the Lake Shore Drive and got off at 57th Street to Hyde Park. They parked the car in a nearby lot and slowly walked to a quiet place around the lake. The sun felt warm but the breeze was cool and crisp. They found a stone bench to sit down. George came closer to her and took her hand and held it for a while; both remained quiet and stayed huddled together for some time.  Elizabeth was crying; George sensed her anguish and brought her closer to him and gave her an affectionate kiss on her forehead.

“I will be all right!” he said.

“No, you won’t” Elizabeth answered and started crying loudly. The remaining dry fall leaves on the trees behind them rustled and the sun shined on her wet face, exaggerating her sharp features.

After a few minutes, she calmed down. George looked at her and asked her to marry him. Elizabeth was taken aback but said nothing. She had not thought of marriage and did not know how to respond. She loved George but was not ready for a marriage. She was happy as it was and did not think that marriage at the time would make her happier. George took out a thin silver chain from his pocket and put it around her neck. There was a small cross hanging from it. She did not object. He then unhooked a simple gold chain from her neck and put it around his own neck.  He felt that this act of exchanging necklace would be a symbol of their commitment to each other and their relationship. Elizabeth was confused and could not find words to respond to his request.

“Promise, you will come back alive, if sent to Vietnam!” She said looking at him. She reflected on her situation and her own place in it. She lived with two men and loved them both.  She was in deep thoughts when George hugged her and they remained in that position for some time.  She had a lot of thinking to do. It was getting cold and windy and so they got up silently and returned to the car and drove back to their home. Next day George left to join the army.

George was sent to Vietnam after his basic training. He had been in Vietnam only for four months when an early morning call from the Fifth Army Headquarter woke Elizabeth up.  It was still dark outside. The man on the phone asked to speak to her by name and asked if that was the home of Pvt. Andre’ George Farland? He told her that Pvt. Farland was being flown from Okinawa to Lakeland Air Base in San Antonio and from there he would be transferred by an army ambulance to the Burn Unit of the Brooke Medical Center for treatment of his burns. According to him, the plane carrying George would be landing at the air force base anytime soon. He had no further information.  

Ted had gone to Ontario for ice-fishing and she was all alone in the house; she told herself to stay calm and decided to fly to San Antonio by next available flight. She quickly packed a few personal items in a small suitcase and wrote a short note for Ted explaining the situation and her plans and took a cab to O’Hare airport. There, she bought a one way ticket to San Antonio with a check. Luckily, the woman on the counter was nice did not give her any trouble accepting her check. First flight out of O’Hare was not until ten O’clock, a few hours away; she waited restlessly at the airport and was anxious to be near George as soon as possible. She arrived at San Antonio airport in early afternoon and took a cab directly to the Brooke Army Medical Center. The Burn Unit was located on ground floor of the hospital. As she reached the entrance of the Unit, she was met by a female army sergeant. She had brown skin and wore a face mask. She told Elizabeth that George was brought by an ambulance in early hours of that morning and was very ill. He had burns over his body and the doctors had sedated him heavily to ease his pain. She handed a face mask to Elizabeth and asked her to put it on before entering the hospital ward. Inside the ward, which was a large rectangular room, beds were arranged against the two long walls facing each other. Each bed was occupied by a patient. There was a strong stench of burnt-flesh which reminded her of rotten fish mixed with a weird odor. She felt sick to her stomach and walked slowly keeping her head down to avoid looking at the patients. When they reached near the corner of the room, the sergeant gently put her hand over Elizabeth’s shoulder and pointed to the bed in front.  Elizabeth looked at a still human body lying flat on the bed; she could not recognize the face; it was black and crusted. The rest of the body below the head was covered with a round body-tent. She focused her eyes on face of the body and saw blackened skin with blisters and patches of thick crust of dried blood and serum. A clear plastic bag with a long thin tube carried a yellow clear fluid nourishing his body, drop by drop. A nasal tube was inserted in the nose. She came closer to the bed and stood there frozen, shocked and speechless. She could no longer recognize her George. She dropped down on a chair nearby and put her hands over her face, tears gushed down silently first and then openly. She was sorry, angry and hateful.  

A male nurse appeared behind her and put his hand on her shoulder and stood there for some time trying to console her.

“We have sedated him to ease his pain. This afternoon his burn wounds will be cleaned and dressed in an operating room. Later, he might need skin grafting and long time care.”  He said to Elizabeth in a clear low voice. She stood there silently and just stared at the bed.

“You are Elizabeth, right?” He then asked. She shook her head in affirmative. He told her to wait in a next door room for visitors and gently guided her to a small room nearby. She heard steady cry of pain coming from another part of that unit and saw nurses and other men and women going in and out in the corridor. Many who wore civilian clothes were probably relatives of patients, she thought.

The room was small and rectangular and was furnished by two low sofa chairs and a long couch arranged against the walls and in the center was a small table with a few old magazines. The concrete floor was bare. A large black and white television was attached to the side wall facing down towards the couch. In the center of the ceiling hung a small fan which moved slowly stirring the stale air in the room.  She had hardly sat down when the nurse reappeared with a small green duffle bag in his hand.

“This is your husband’s personal items”.  He said handing the bag to Elizabeth who placed it on the floor as she dropped herself down on the chair, tired and helpless.

He told her that George came under intense enemy fire while on a patrol with his platoon. Several grenades exploded near him killing several soldiers.  In trying to save one of his buddies, his own clothes caught fire and the intense heat caused by the exploding grenade burnt his body.

Elizabeth called home trying to reach Ted. No one picked the phone. She was not sure what time he would return. She leaned back in the chair for a few moments and then bent down to pick up the duffle bag. It was light and she put it on her lap and looked at it. It had George’s rank and name written in bold black letters on it.  She gently pressed it with her hand and slowly brought the bag close to her chest. She stayed in that position for a few moments and then slowly opened the zipper on top. There were only a few items including a few clothes, a pair of goggles, a tooth brush, an empty water bottle and a cake of soap. Inside was another small zipped pocket, she opened it and found a sealed brown army envelope with George’s name on it. In it was a gold chain, his name tag and a small leather wallet. She immediately recognized the chain which George took it from her before joining the army. She opened the wallet and found a few foreign currency notes, a few US Dollars, an image of Saint Jude’s and a photo of young oriental woman standing against a light pole in a crowded market with her right leg crossing the left. She looked young and small and had a smile on her face looking straight at the camera. She held a flower in her right hand and gestured a V-sign with her left hand. Elizabeth quickly put the photo and the items back inside the wallet and closed the bag. She was too tired to think. She leaned against the sofa chair and closed her eyes. When she opened them, it was well past midnight; she could hear the muffled groan and footsteps that she had heard whole day.

Elizabeth wanted to go inside the ward to be near George still thinking of the girl in that photo in his wallet. Was she his girl friend, a one night stand or just someone he met? She had questions but no answers! She fell back against the chair and stayed there still deep in her thoughts.

          Sounds of approaching footsteps outside broke her thoughts. They got louder as they came nearer. Then the door slowly opened and there was Ted standing in a dark blue blazer, khaki pants and a white open collar shirt. Elizabeth got up from her chair and wrapped herself around his tall body. She held him close to her and started to cry with tears pouring down her cheeks as if a water tap has suddenly turned on. Ted kept silent and held her close to him. His silence and firm embrace calmed and comforted her. He quietly sat her down on the sofa with him next to her, still holding her close to him. He told her that he had taken a red eye flight to San Antonio as soon as he read her note. They spoke softly, Elizabeth telling him about George and filling him in with details of his injury and seriousness of his condition. He did not go inside to see George and stayed with her. The place was very quiet now.  

The silence was broken by appearance of a man in an army uniform. His name on his uniform identified him as Lieutenant Colonel Summers. He seemed in his mid thirties and had a deeply tanned clean shaven face; he held Garrison cap in his left hand.

After introducing himself, he pulled a chair to sit down and gestured  to Ted and Elizabeth to do the same. He explained to the couple that he was in charge of that Burn Unit and he planned to take George to operating room to clean his burns and dress his wounds. He warned them that the next few days would be critical and if George survived this, he had a good chance of living his life. Ted and Elizabeth listened to him in silence.

George remained in operating room for several hours. While waiting for George to return from there, Ted and Elizabeth walked the hospital cafeteria to grab something to eat. They were both starving!  On his return, George was moved to a single room and was put on a ventilator for assisted breathing; they also induced deep sleep to prevent him from going in a shock. Ted and Elizabeth sat near the patient’s sick bed and watched a slow and forced movement of his chest. Elizabeth continued to cry silently, often clearing her throat and wiping her eyes with tissues.  Ted sat next to her in silence. Every now and then he would gently put his hand over her shoulder to console her.

The patient’s condition continued to worsen and next day in late afternoon, George took his last breath as Elizabeth and Ted watched in silence. They brought his body home and gave him a nice funeral. George’s parents and his only sister came to his funeral and Elizabeth felt relieved to see them. She told them about George and his life in America and also about his work and their friendship. She did not tell them about her own intimate relationship with him. She stayed close to them and looked after them during their entire stay in Chicago.

After George’s death, Elizabeth‘s daily life slowed down and she became moody, sad and depressed. She had crying spells and had difficulty in sleeping. She blamed herself for his death because she felt that she was responsible for his moving to America. She also wished that she had accepted his proposal of marriage. He did not have to die so young! She kept repeating to herself. She took out the gold chain and his I.D. tag from the duffle bag and put them around her own neck, next to the silver one George had given her. This would remain there for his memory and as a promise to always love him, she told herself. She threw the photo of the oriental girl in a garbage bag.

A year passed and life slowly and painfully returned to normal for Elizabeth; Ted got busy in his job at the Lab and she returned to her regular school activities. She decided to move to another place and forget the past. She looked for a place of her choice and found a small three-bedroom double story brick house in old section of Naperville. Ted agreed and was glad that his Lab was closer.  Elizabeth liked flowers and enjoyed gardening; the new house had a small patch of empty land behind the house, where she planted a garden. She bought a circular cast iron table and four chairs and put them next to her garden. She decorated the house to her liking and devoted her free time to gardening or just sitting alone on her patio with a book or just to stare blankly in air.  In 1975, Elizabeth told Ted that they ought to get married. This way, she would not be a butt of gossip among her friends, she told him; they had been living together for many years, so why pretend to be just friends? She was unsure about her feelings for Ted, yet she liked his company and comfort, he provided her. Why not make it official and live as a married couple, she thought? Ted accepted her proposal and they got married in a civil ceremony at the City Hall in Chicago. Ted had an official meeting in Bahamas and so he arranged to spend a week at the island for their honeymoon. Elizabeth found it hard to forget George but kept his memory to herself. She missed him and saw him often in her dreams; she felt that she had betrayed George by her current marriage. She often blew up at Ted for no reason; he always stayed calm and often walked away from her on these outbursts; this made her angrier. Afterwards such episodes,, she felt guilty about her anger.

Ted was good to her, respected her and spoke about her with great pride to his friends. He was not the kind who displayed affection in public which would have been George. Elizabeth thought about it often; but she did not want to compare the two men, one gone forever and other now her husband. They tried to have children but could not; Ted did not believe in fertility clinics and for him adaption was risky.  Life continued but the excitement was gone. Elizabeth’s job at school was stable and she continued to get promotions regularly; she was now an associate Principle of the school and in charge of organizing evening classes. Ted was now a director of one of the departments at the Lab and travelled often on assignments. Elizabeth joined a health club and began jogging outdoors. They had limited social circle, mostly due to being busy but more so because of Ted’s quiet nature. In company, Ted would usually remain silent which made Elizabeth uncomfortable? She, on other hand had a large network of friends and was active in various organizations. In spring of 1996, her father died following a brief illness. He was old and lived by himself after his second wife had passed away. Elizabeth had lost contact with him since she moved to Chicago. He had left her a large inheritance which made Elizabeth a rich woman. She donated half of that money to her school, she worked at. It helped the school to build an addition to its science center for children with special needs and named it after her mother.  

In 2000, Ted turned sixty. He had been complaining of back pain for some time and had also lost weight. He had not seen a doctor for quite a while because he hated going to one.  One night, Elizabeth woke up to odd sounds of someone in pain. The kitchen light was on and Ted was not in his bed. She got up and went down to the kitchen; Ted was sitting at breakfast table holding his head between his two hands. He was softly crying with pain.  She put her hand over his shoulder and came closer to him and stood there trying to console him but he remained quiet.

Ted agreed to go to the Emergency Room of a nearby hospital. There, the doctors ordered tests and X-Rays. Two hours later, they told him that he had bone cancer which caused his pain. He took the news calmly. They prescribed him pain killers and ordered more tests. After a week of tests, the doctors confirmed the diagnosis; he had an advanced prostate cancer which had spread to his bones. They recommended hormone shots but he refused; instead, he agreed to radiotherapy to relieve his backache. During the next two years his cancer seemed to slow down. Elizabeth was there to help him get his pain medicines and took him for radiation treatments. He continued to work and it made him feel useful.

Ted wanted to celebrate Elizabeth’s sixtieth birth day and had made plans for a big party at the Bonnie’s. When the day arrived, he was too sick to attend the celebrations. He told her not to cancel the party and should enjoy her birthday; he would remain at home; the pain killers affected him poorly and he felt groggy and sleepy. He had lost weight and had taken sick leave from his work.

At the party, she had dressed in a loose blue shirt over blue jeans. She did not feel like dressing up and felt sorry that Ted could not be with her during the party. She knew that his days on this earth were limited and she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, caring for him and fulfilling his daily needs. Ted had been good to her and she knew that she would be left alone without him. He had lost his appetite and weight and he looked wasted. He declined further radiation treatments. He needed heavy dose of pain killers. At the party, while talking to one of his friends, Elizabeth bumped into a man sitting alone at a table and accidently lost her balance and spilled red wine on him and also broke her wine glass and cut her hand. The man introduced himself as David. He turned out to be a physician. He took her to his clinic and treated her wound. She noticed that he was a tall slender man in his fifties. She did not pay much attention to him other than that he seemed pleasant and professional. She invited him to join her party and he accepted; she stayed with him in the party and introduced him to her friends so that he did not feel a stranger there.

When the party broke that evening, she accompanied David to his car and thanked him for taking care of her and also invited him to her home that Sunday. She desperately wanted him to meet Ted hoping that being a doctor, David could help Ted fight his cancer. She was worried about Ted’s appetite and his weight. She coaxed him constantly to eat more but Ted would become irritated and would refuse to eat. This led to angry exchanges between the two ending in Elizabeth getting upset and Ted depressed. It was a bad situation. Elizabeth felt alone and out of control. She was pleased that David accepted her invitation. David, of course wanted to know her better because he was attracted to her as a lively, beautiful woman who looked younger than her real age. She promised him a home cooked breakfast. He agreed to visit her at around noon on Sunday.

When David rang the doorbell, Elizabeth opened the door. She was dressed in a white sport shirt and khaki jeans and had a light cream colored kitchen apron on. She smiled broadly at David, shook his hand and brought him closer to kiss him lightly on his cheek. Still holding his hand, she pulled him gently inside. It was a bright and spacious home and was well decorated with simple furniture.  David had brought a bouquet of summer flowers. She took it from him and guided him to the kitchen and asked him to sit down on a high stool at the small oval stone island. David could smell the aroma of baking bread and freshly brewed coffee which it made him feel very hungry. She thanked him for the flowers and started arranging them in a glass vase.

“I love flowers!” She said.

“My husband is sick with cancer and is in bed. His doctor does not expect him to live long. In my opinion he is wrong. He had given him six months to live. That was two years ago.” She said coming close to David and lowering her voice so that Ted might not hear her.  

“He has stopped eating and we have many arguments about it and he gets mad with me. If he ate proper meals, his cancer will slow down. There is something about feeding the cancer, so it will not eat the body. All the pain killers are making him sicker and weaker by the day” She lamented.

David kept quiet and felt a little uncomfortable and was a little sorry for accepting the invitation. 

“Who is taking care of him?” He asked.

“Dr. Morgan at the University Hospital, he is an oncologist. Ted likes him. He is very busy and does not always answer my phone calls” She replied. David knew Frank Morgan well; they were in medical school together.

“I know him. He is a good doctor” He said as he watched her. He noticed a bundle of three necklaces around her neck; they were of gold, silver and a plain metal. He watched her as she poured coffee in a cup for him. She was methodical and careful as she took out a cake of butter from refrigerator and a butter knife and eating forks from a drawer and placing them on the top of the island. She then took out baked quiche and warm rolls from the oven and after cutting a large piece put it on a warm serving plate. On the same plate she placed a bread roll and a large scoop of freshly made plum and apple stew. He watched her well shaped bare hands and slender fingers as she moved gently and efficiently.

“I hope you like my cooking; please don’t hesitate to ask for more, I have plenty here.” She then served herself and sat down on a stool next to David.  It was a simple breakfast and David liked it. Both ate in relative silence. Afterwards, she cleared the table and poured more coffee for David and herself.  

She then took David to see her husband in his bedroom. The room was small and David noticed an ill looking man with unshaven grey beard and a balding head lying slightly propped up on a single bed placed against the wall behind. The room was dark and David could not see much in the room. A had wooden book shelf stood on the left side of the bed; a few books had been arranged on middle shelf but the rest was bare. On a wall opposite of the bed, there hung a large framed photograph of a man with a broad smile and dark long uncombed hair; he looked young and handsome. There was also a small color television below the picture sitting on a table; a narrow arm chair sat next to the bed and in front of the book shelf. The patient looked at David and smiled faintly and he slowly extended his right hand but soon dropped it down on his bed.

“Honey, this is David, the doctor, I met him at the Bonnie’s. Remember, I told you about him, I wanted you to meet him. He took care of my hand and saved me from going to the Emergency Room.” She spoke slowly and loudly so that the patient could hear her.  She bent down and softly kissed the patient on his forehead and gently touched his chin.

David immediately knew that the patient was very ill and withered and obviously in great pain. He perspired heavily which made his face wet and shirt drenched. He had bleary and unfocused gaze and seemed to have lost interest in his surroundings. 

“Good to meet you! How is your pain?” David faced the patient and took a step closer to him and asked him in a friendly well trained professional voice. The patient kept quiet and just stared. No one spoke and the patient slowly closed his eyes; he was uninterested and tried to turn his body but soon gave up. Elizabeth quickly went closer to the bed and put her arms around the patient’s upper body and pulled him up and turned him on his right side. David tried to help he was already too late. He was amazed at her agility and strength. He could not believe that a woman of sixty could be so strong and fast. She looked beautiful and David knew that he was falling in love with her.

Elizabeth picked a small towel lying nearby and wiped Ted’s face and arms and then covered his body with a thin cotton sheet to keep him comfortable, A ceiling fan slowly turned above; she increased its speed and went back to the sick bed, bent down and planted a soft kiss on Ted’s forehead; As she faced David she gently caught him by his elbow and together they exited the room closing it behind them.

“Don’t go yet, David. Have some more coffee.” She said and David followed her back to her kitchen.

“How long it has been going on.” David asked Elizabeth.

“Oh it is a long story, David. My life has been of losing those I love. It is too painful to tell you about it. I know he is dying. I can’t bear his suffering. I feel helpless!  When I met you, I thought quite selfishly, that you being a doctor could save my husband. I was wrong.No one can save him. His cancer has spread to his bones and he refuses to eat. He tells me not to prolong his life and let him die in peace. Dr. Morgan has prescribed narcotics for his pain but they don’t seem to work, when they do he goes to sleep.” Elizabeth said.

“Can you do me a favor? Could you talk to Dr. Morgan? Sometimes I feel that he is too busy to talk to me. I write down all his instructions and when I come home, it all seems very complicated.” She asked David.

David tried to console her but she was insistent that he speak to Dr. Morgan to see if he could find another medicine for his cancer. David promised her that he would call Dr. Morgan and took his leave of her and returned home. In spite of his promise to call Morgan, he was reluctant to do so. It seemed obvious to him that the patient was dying and no one could help him and discussing it with Morgan would be waste of time.

A few weeks passed and David got busy in his practice. One evening, he went downtown to attend a medical meeting at the University Club in Chicago; the speaker that night was Dr. Frank Morgan who was to speak on palliative care for cancer patients. David asked him about Ted.  

“He died about ten days ago?” Morgan told David.

“It was a good thing, David. He was very sick and his wife used to call me all the time with same questions about her husband. She is a strange character, David.” Morgan continued. 

“She wanted to know if there was a new wonder drug for her husband. Then she accused me for not trying hard enough to help him. Do know? She overloaded her husband with Tylenol, Codeine and marihuana and god knows what else; listen to this one, she fed him squirrel liver and crow’s soup. Once, she went to Zemer’s looking for monkey brain. She had read some place that those wild animals are good for prostate cancer. I don’t know what really killed him, his prostate cancer, high dose of pain killers or those wild animals she fed him; you tell me! She has buried his ashes in her back yard near his favorite rosebush” He said.

David kept quiet; He had met Elizabeth only twice and rather liked her.

“That was some woman, David!” Morgan said as he prepared to leave.

“You meant the wife!” David mumbled to himself as he took his leave.

 

 

 

 

 

© amod saxena 2013